Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
