you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
