Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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