dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
