I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
