i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
