he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
