She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
