yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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