That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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