Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You ate ashes out of my bong
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