Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
