he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
