"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
