life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
