he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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