I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
