Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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