I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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