Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
