I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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