Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
