yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
