shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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