woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
