K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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