I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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