Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize