you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
