You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
