is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
