i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
