my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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