why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Panties = found
Randomize
