Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
