why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
