Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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