College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
