I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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