Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
