Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We need to feng shui this bitch.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize