shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
