I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
