Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
