Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
