I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
