You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
