You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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