SEEEEXXX PLEASE
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
