Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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