So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
