Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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