We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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