Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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