my vag is so smooth its legendary
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
