that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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