Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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