U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
