I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
