You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
