I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
